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MATT CASEY
(teh_catt)

webmaster







Matt is extremely handsome and is reminded of it constantly much to his chagrin.
Matt's favourite mop is the Wileda Supermop.
Matt's favourite newt is the Crested Newt (Triturus).
Matt's favourite mustard is Colonel Mustard.
Matt's favourite kind of soup is Ladybird.
Matt's favourite film is cling.
Matt's favourite insect is a whale (he didn't understand the question)
Matt's favourite castle is Andrew.
Matt's favourite band is elastic.
Matt thinks that Supermarket Own Brands are the work of Communists.
Matt's Back, Sack and Crack are the envy of the Playboy Mansion.
Matt races his own Pigeons but has yet to beat one.
Despite coming from Nottigham, Matt is quite intelligent.
Matt's number can be found in Phone Boxes near his house.
Matt is barred from all Target Stores following "the incident."
Matt sits in the library weighing large marrows.
Matt is the fallen member of Girls Aloud that nobody mentions.
If Matt drops a toilet roll into the bowl he dries it on the radiator before using it.
Matt's landlord thinks he has a reputation among the ladies.
Matt wears second hand ties for a laugh.
Matt is the owner of a Zoo that houses homeless anteaters.
Matt urinates in Public then puts the videos on youtube.
Matt sniffs other peoples socks before putting them on.
Matt makes mosaics from his nail clippings and sells them on eBay.
Matt has webbed feet and gills.
Matt does not visit the mainland for fear of reprisals.
Matt knits socks for starlings.
Matt was the original Milky Bar Kid.
Matt can play violin underwater, but not on dry land.
Matt wears a cravate to look intelligent. The idiot!
Matt sticks cornflakes to his face and tells people he has got Impetigo.
Matt has a prehensile tail which he finds very useful.
Matt has worn long, loose trousers ever since the op.
Matt makes sandwiches for gypsies.
Matt likes to eat roadkill before it is actually dead.
Matt has false legs but real feet.
Matt only sleeps on Tuesdays but is a light sleeper.
Matt thinks that the TV License fee should be used to house voles over winter.
Matt was a lollipop man for 5 minutes.
Matt was Tesco's 789,321,456th customer.
Matt smokes pink cocktail cigarettes.
Matt's next book will be called "Shit Yourself Thin."
Matt is scared of Geese. He says "It's in their eyes"
Matt is a hunchback and irons his shirts on a Wok.
Matt got into a fight with a Somali pirate and declared it a draw.
Matt repairs dry rot by wetting it.
Matt bores everybody to death at parties with his card tricks.
Matt does a great Jimmy Saville impersonation, even down to the shell suit.
Matt translates ethnic slurs for Polish refugees.
Matt keeps his ferret down other peoples trousers.
Matt likes to bite stray dogs to show he has no fear.
Matt shops at Harrods but only buys the cheap crap.
Matt reads books backwards because he finds the beginning more interesting.
Matt gave up shadow boxing when Hank Marvin knocked him out.